The Allyship Dictionary
Unpacking the concept in an A-Z format
As someone driven to become a better ally in the disability inclusion space, I am always seeking opportunities and resources to learn and unlearn what it means to be one.
To help me do that, this blog is an attempt to unpack allyship by exploring its various elements through an A-Z format. The terms included are not a definitive or exhaustive list. Instead, they stem from what I have been reading and thinking about.
A for Allyship
A dictionary about allyship has to begin with defining it!
Like inclusion, allyship is a means rather than an end. Being an ally is a constant work in progress over one’s lifetime. It involves leveraging one’s privilege to support and advocate for a marginalised group that faces discrimination or social injustice.
B for Boundaries
Being an ally requires knowing when to offer support and when to step back. It is a balancing act that comes with practice and internalizing the ethos, “Nothing about us without us.” When boundaries are established and respected, it keeps the focus on working with rather than for the marginalised community.
C for Consent
Allies often have access to more resources and platforms they can leverage to amplify causes relevant to the marginalised community they are associated with. However, in order to use these avenues ethically, consent serves as the bedrock. Members of the marginalised communities must be in control of their own narrative and the direction in which they steer their participation.
D for Dominant Story
This term is inspired by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk titled ‘The Danger of a Single Story’. Every individual, community, and culture is made up of multiple stories. However, our exposure and experience often determine which of these stories serve as our entry point to understanding them. The story that becomes dominant goes on to shape our perceptions. To quote Adichie,
“The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.”
Being an ally means not settling for a single or dominant story. Instead, making a conscious effort to seek out multiple stories to shape a more nuanced worldview.
E for Equity
In my understanding, equity is the central ethos of allyship. Based on our background and privileges, each of us has access (or not) to different opportunities. Unlike equality that focuses on treating every individual in the same way, equity is about providing resources and support in accordance with what the individual needs to succeed. It acknowledges the unequal starting points each of us are at. As an ally, it is important to be aware of what one has access to and how to leverage these to drive equitable outcomes in the work one does.
F for Feminist Leadership
Feminist Leadership, a concept I got introduced to during the One Future Fellowship, is an inclusive and intersectional approach that seeks to transform traditional power structures by emphasising on collaboration, accountability, and care. ActionAid has put together a set of ten principles of Feminist Leadership. Reading these gave me a different perspective and vocabulary on what it means to be a good ally.
G for Gender Neutral Language
Allyship can be demonstrated in many ways. An often-overlooked way is the language we use. This includes appropriate disability terminologies, gender neutral language, and so on. Examples of gender-neutral language are using they/them pronouns instead of assuming gender, replacing gendered job titles with neutral alternatives (e.g. chairperson instead of chairman/chairwoman or police officer instead of policeman/policewoman), and so on. Being mindful of the language we use in our daily communication goes a long way.
H for Holding Space
Holding space is a phrase commonly used in the mental health space. It is the practice of being fully present for another person, emotionally, mentally, and physically, without judgment while letting them navigate their experiences and feelings. This phrase encapsulates the ally’s position really well.
I for Indian Wheel of Power and Powerlessness
The Indian Wheel of Power and Powerlessness is a comprehensive resource developed by The Listeners Collective that identifies the multitude of identities across different strands and its impact on how one navigates power structures. Based on Sylvia Duckworth’s work, this has been adapted to India’s sociocultural context. Studying one’s position across every spoke in the wheel can help one reflect on one’s privileges across different intersections of identities.
J for Journey
Back in 2017, as one of the few students without a disability in the Master’s program on Disability Studies, I was often asked why I was pursuing this course. That is when my professor introduced me to the concept and importance of being an ally. Nearly a decade later, I am still scratching the surface on what it means to truly embody allyship. It is a journey punctuated with learnings, mistakes, and moments of joy.
K for Kimberlé Crenshaw’s Intersectionality
Kimberlé Crenshaw introduced the concept of ‘Intersectionality’ in 1989 in the context of Black feminist thought. It is the recognition that systems of oppression do not operate in silos. Instead, they overlap and multiply into distinct experiences that cannot be understood by only focusing on one system or strand of identity. For instance, barriers faced by women with disabilities are different compared to the barriers faced by women without disabilities or persons with disabilities of other genders.
L for Lived Experiences
To ask, rather than assume, is fundamental to being an ally. Practicing this mindset requires recognizing the lived experiences of marginalised communities as a form of expertise, rather than dismissing their validity.
When lived experiences are given the respect it deserves, it enables one to listen more openly and respond with empathy.
M for Mentoring
Mentoring, whether formal or informal, can be a valuable part of becoming a better-informed ally. However, it is important to recognise that individuals from marginalised communities are not responsible for educating others or being the ally’s learning curve by default. Placing that expectation on them can be unfair and exhausting.
That said, when approached with consent and mutual respect, alongside a relationship or rapport that has been built, mentoring can be a space for shared learning and growth.
N for Narrative Plenitude & Scarcity
This is a concept Viet Thanh Nguyen introduced in their book ‘Nothing Ever Dies’ in the context of Asian American representation in mainstream media. Narrative scarcity is when there is a lack of diverse stories about a particular community which leads to a narrow or stereotypical understanding towards them. In contrast, narrative plenitude is when there are a wider range of stories thereby ensuring a more accurate representation of the community’s experiences. The latter also makes it easier for mediocre stories to get absorbed by the spectrum of stories made available. As an ally, it is helpful to ask more questions of the media one consumes and reflect on how it shapes one’s worldview towards different communities. This connects back to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk shared earlier as well.
O for Openness to Feedback
Being an ally is not about being perfect. It is about the process of reflecting on one’s actions and striving to do better on a daily basis. This journey of iteration becomes possible when there is openness to feedback on what the community needs and advocates for as well as a willingness to step away from familiar patterns.
P for Power
Navigating systems of oppression requires understanding the role of power in shaping whose voices take center stage and whose lie at the fringes. In the context of allyship, it requires one to introspect on spaces where one has power, how one benefits from it, and how to use it responsibly. The Indian Wheel of Power and Powerlessness (mentioned earlier) is a great starting point!
Q for Queer Movement
The concept of ‘allyship’ originated in the 1990s from the queer movement. It was used to describe how university students from the majority group members in the US stood by LGBTQIA+ individuals and advocated to end sexuality-based oppression in higher education. Over time, this concept gained traction across other movements such as gender and disability.
R for Repurposing Privilege
This was a phrase I learnt during the 30-Day Inclusion Challenge by Cohesion Collective, a DEI organisation based in South Africa. Conversations around privilege often bring up themes of guilt and helplessness. Adding the word ‘repurposing’ in front of completely changed my outlook because it taught me how privilege can be a vehicle for change. Today, repurposing privilege is how I define my mission as an ally in the disability inclusion space.
S for Solidarity
Allyship is an important starting point towards demonstrating solidarity. Here’s an infographic by Agents of Ishq that illustrates this beautifully:
https://agentsofishq.com/post/solidarity-zine--6899ba6a3b77d
T for Tokenism
There are different types of allyship and tokenism or performative allyship is unfortunately one of them. It occurs when support towards a particular community is more superficial than substantial. Also described as ‘talking the talk without walking the walk’, this type of allyship feels more like a checkbox than an intentional effort.
U for Urgency
A sense of urgency is what fuels allyship. Asking questions such as, “If not now, when? If not me, who?” pushes one to focus on what truly matters and what one can do to make a positive difference.
This reminds me of a phrase I came across during the One Future Fellowship: hard-earned hope. For things to get better, someone has to do the work. Urgency is what moves that work forward.
V for Vulnerability
Building on several of the other concepts in this blog, practicing allyship requires vulnerability. It involves acknowledging what one does not know, questioning assumptions one may unconsciously hold, and taking responsibility for one’s mistakes.
Being able to step out of one’s comfort zone in terms of one’s thoughts and behaviours takes courage and openness!
W for Windows and Mirrors
‘Windows and Mirrors’ is a powerful concept introduced by Rudine Sims Bishop in 1995. In the context of children’s literature, Bishop described how books can offer readers a view into the world beyond their own experiences (windows) or reflect their own lives and identities back to them (mirrors).
Since allyship is a continuous journey of learning, it is important to examine the information we consume and reflect on whether we have access to more windows or mirrors. Striving for a balance between the two can help shape a more informed and empathetic worldview.
X for (E)xclusion
We cannot fully understand inclusion without examining exclusion. Practicing allyship involves stepping back to observe who is being left out of conversations, decision-making spaces, and opportunities and asking why.
It also requires reflecting on what can be done within one’s capacity to address these gaps.
Y for “Yes, and”
“Yes, and” is a practice borrowed from improv, where one builds on what others share rather than dismissing or overriding it. In many ways, this reflects how allyship operates.
It involves engaging with and building on the perspectives of marginalised communities without redirecting them to fit one’s own agenda.
Z for Zero Tolerance
Have you ever been in a situation where a joke or comment about a particular community made you uncomfortable, but you hesitated to speak up? It may have been said in jest, but that does not change the fact that it reinforces harmful perceptions.
Zero tolerance means standing up for what one believes in by calling out, taking action, and refusing to let such moments pass unchecked. Because being a passive bystander is also a part of the problem.
Here’s to making this world a more inclusive place, one step at a time.